forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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