awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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