dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
