She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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