Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
