Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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