she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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