The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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