There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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