Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize