i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
