He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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