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So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
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