my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.