I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!