Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
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it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
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I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.