This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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