Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's