Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
