Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize