I wanna passion pit in your ass
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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