This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
