Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
