TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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