I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
