News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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