There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
