Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
