I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
