I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
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Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
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How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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