He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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