Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
