i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
