That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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