the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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