So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
