What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
