put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
