you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
