just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
