Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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