I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
