The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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