Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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