Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
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