I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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