Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
