don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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