Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
