Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She bit a glass in half.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
