I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
