WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
