I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i drank out of a bidet.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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