VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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