ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
