I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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