I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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