he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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