can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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