Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
